Wednesday 4 January 2023

2023: the year of discipline.

 



one of my favourite writers, Charles Bukowski, once said: 


"if it doesn't come bursting out of you

in spite of everything,

don't do it. 

unless it comes unasked out of your

heart and your mind and your mouth 

and your gut, 

don't do it."


and I agree.


2022 was undoubtedly a crappy year for humanity. we were given a stark and gruesome glimpse of what our future would look, if we refuse to change our ways. we were left paralysed as fires devoured what was left of our nature, as entire countries flooded evoking the creation story in foretold in Genesis and of course, wanting to show how big their ***** were; 


so I would like to try again with writing. 

Friday 14 October 2022

december.

 



call him. ask him out... to end it all. 


use all your might, to make sure you don't fall apart in front of him. 

you'll have all the time in the world, afterwards.

Monday 22 August 2022

Friday 29 July 2022

the one that ends us: the epilogue

 



i was thinking about this recently and in a way, I think I have come to hate you.

because you have ruined so much for me. 

friendships. trust. love. 

i tried so hard... not to hate you, believe me, i did but i lost.


 because i think that if i truly want to stop - i have to hate you, in some way.

because its too hard.

and since i was the one who started it, then it's only fair that I should be the one to stop it.  


Tuesday 28 June 2022

letter to people I love: the epilogue, his last words...

 



"if that's how you want to do it then yeah, sure."


so, i guess this really this the end. 

i bet if i hadn't had all those practice runs, this cut would've cut deeply. it still does. but i can manage through it. you gave me enough false starts. 


Wednesday 25 May 2022

the cruelest death reimagined after may 24th 2022.

 [the cruelest death: 

to have your body violated by bullets,

in what should be your safest place from home.

and yet your country still chooses to cast you aside,

to protect the shells that erased you from existence.

from being. from learning. from loving. from feeling pain.

but do you think they will remember you… before you become, but a mere blurry reminiscent of what you once were?

of the atrocities committed,

promised not to be repeated.

[it’s impolite to even contemplate such tragedies befalling the loved ones of those in power. 

those who can stop the hurt,

but refuse.

but it hurts because how is it that one day you were here.

then you just were not. 

how can we move on, when you were taken so viciously? 

how can we even fathom a life without your infectious laughter?

how can we stop the tears from salting our faces whenever we think of you? when we stare at your empty seat at the table? when we are asked where you are by your friends, brothers, sisters?

who will hold our hand, give us a hug, when we are struggling to breathe because we have to move on without you? or just because...

because you were phenomenal at making us feel better. as a parent, when we felt defeated and as beings because you made us complete, when you were born.]

do you think your country will remember that you were once a kid, [happy, bright + pure of hatred + rage] a [young] being that existed [along side us] eager to begin life?

[to go home, kiss your parents good night, play with friends and siblings and repeat your simple days.]

  • stoneman douglas high school robb elementary school]